Don't worry! It's only stuff...

Show loaded modules
apache2ctl -M

Enable mod_rewrite module
a2enmod rewrite
/etc/init.d/apache2 force-reload

# change"AllowOverride None" to "AllowOverride All" in your /etc/apache2/sites-available/default for the directory in which you will use the mod_rewrite module

benchmark
apt-get install apache2-utils
ab -n 100 -c 10 http://www.google.com/ > ad.out

test

# echo "SetEnv REGISTER_GLOBALS 0" >> .htaccess

# if this not work disable global php.ini (if you have permisions for this)
#dep# sed -i 's|register_globals = ON|register globals = OFF|g' /etc/php5/apache2/php.ini

# enable mod_rewrite
a2enmod rewrite
/etc/init.d/apache2 force-reload

# change AllowOverride in /etc/apache2/sites-available/default
from: AllowOverride None
to: AllowOverride All

Links
http://httpd.apache.org/docs/2.0/vhosts/examples.html - VirtualHost Examples